Happy Anniversary...24 Weeks

I can't believe Adam and I have been married for three years! Time really does fly when you are having fun! To recap the last three years:

• We lived in Rolla our first year and I think it was great for Adam to get to know my family more and for me to grow closer to my family
• We moved to Nebraska which was great for Adam and I to really learn to rely on each other
• Adam became a full-time student again and has just one year left!
• We moved a total of three times-yes we are ready to be in one place for at least five years!
• We were able to go on some pretty amazing vacations-Honeymoon which was a cruise to the Bahamas, Door County which is one of my happy places, and to Key West which was incredible!
• We became a long-distance couple again when Adam packed up and moved to Omaha for the summer to intern with Kiewit.
• And last, but certainly not least, we are expecting our first child.

I read somewhere that the first three years of marriage can be the hardest because your relationship is going through such  transition. Clearly I am not an expert and Adam and I still have a long way to go with many more ups and downs but I think we have done a pretty good job at tackling the changes and pressures placed upon us. 

Lately I have thought about how this little life will change us. Undoubtedly, our lives will never be the same which can be scary but exciting. I think the most important thing for use to keep in mind is to always make time for us and keep each other a priority. 

Whenever I think about how I felt on our wedding day, I think of the picture below. Completely happy and loving every moment! 

And whenever I think about Adam on our wedding day, I will always think of this picture. So handsome and I am lucky to have him by my side!

Tiny Baby Kicks

This baby has been kicking up a storm the past few days. Usually I could feel really tiny kicks more just in the evening, after I ate dinner. Now, although not quite consistent, I can feel them throughout the day and they are becoming increasingly more intense as the little muscles are growing. 

A couple nights ago, I was laying in bed talking to Adam and all of the sudden I felt really hard kicks. I placed my hand on my belly and that was the first time I could feel the kicks on the outside. While it was exciting, I was sad because I feel that it was the one thing that Adam can do to feel and connect with the baby and he wasn't there to feel it. Obviously when I see Adam on the weekends, he will hopefully have a chance to feel the kicks as they become more frequent and intense. 

Lately, I have been waking up early (like 4:30 am early) and my favorite thing to do is to lay in bed and feel the baby wake up and move around. I hope I still think this is my favorite thing when I am waking up constantly to feed the baby in the middle of the night :)

Happy Mother's Day...23 Weeks (Almost)

Adam and I were able to go to Rolla this weekend for my niece's baptism. I cannot believe how much she has grow in the last three months and being around her so much made me realize that in just a few short months, it will never be just Adam and I anymore.

We were lucky that her baptism fell on Mother's Day and I was able to see my mom for a bit this weekend. As I reflect on Mother's Day and think about the kind of mother I want to be, I have been forced to think about the strong, influential women in my life who aren't necessarily mothers. I want to be able to instill creativity, respect, compassion, patience, love, and dedication in my children. Those qualities cannot happen without me displaying them. When I think of the kind of mother my mom was to me (and still is), I am thankful for her showing me how to love deeply, care for others, and be independent.

Today also is the day Adam went to Omaha for the summer to start his internship with Kiewit. It will be hard not having him here on a daily basis but I need to keep in mind that it is best for his future career and is a great opportunity. Between family visits, baby showers, birthing classes, the summer is going to fly by!

• How far along? 23 Weeks (well tomorrow I will be)
• Total weight gain/loss: Gained 6 pounds total
• Maternity clothes? Pretty much all of my clothes are maternity with the exception of some dresses in which I plan on living in this summer!
• Stretch marks? Same as last post. Really small marks (not really lines) but they haven't gotten worst since the last time I posted. 
• Sleep: I wake up about once/night 
• Best moment this week: Seeing my family
• Miss Anything? Margaritas
• Movement: Yup-more and more every day! I can't wait until the baby is big enough for Adam to feel!
• Food cravings: Not really anything
• Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!
• Gender: I still think girl
• Labor Signs: NO WAY!!!
• Symptoms: Some round ligament pain but that's about it
• Belly Button in or out? In!
• Wedding rings on or off? On!
• Happy or Moody most of the time: For the most part happy. I have been more emotional lately with Adam leaving for the summer
• Looking forward to: Next week we have another ultrasound! I am excited to see Baby C again and hopefully he/she will cooperate and the doctor can see the gender!

Letter to Baby C...21 Weeks

Dear Little One,

We are over half way there! You have already brought so much excitement and love to your daddy and me which seems impossible because we haven't even met you! Many people describe having a child as a love they have never felt before. I love a lot of people in my life: Your dad, my parents, my siblings but the love for you will be different and will be overwhelming.

It is easy to get caught up in our hopes and dreams for you: "This little baby will be smart just like its dad," or "This little one will have its mommy's laugh and zest for life." or "This little baby will be an athlete and scholar and successful." But, whatever becomes of you, Little Baby C, we will always love you unconditionally. We know whatever you do, you will positively impact other people's lives. Our true hopes and dreams for you are to follow your heart and ambitions. There will be times it will be easy to allow others define you but always remember who are. We want you to take chances and risks and challenge, but respect, others-develop a mind of your own.

As I feel you moving around more and more, I am constantly reminded of your quiet and growing presence in our lives. We know you will forever change our lives but wouldn't want it any other way. We can't wait to meet you in a a few months!

Love always!

Your mother!

We are having a....Happy 20 Weeks

...we don't know yet!!! Little Baby C wasn't cooperating well! Not only did we not get a great profile image of the baby because its hands were covering the face (No pictures, no pictures) but the baby is measuring not as far along as we thought. It looks like he/she is only about 18 1/2 weeks instead of 20 so the doctor wasn't real confident on what we are having and was hesitant to give his thoughts.

The most important thing is that the baby is looking healthy (good brain development, strong heart, kidneys, stomach, bladder, etc)-all the important organs! He told us based on the measurements and my weight gain thus far to expect the baby to weigh about 6.5-7 lbs at delivery if I deliver at 40 weeks-I am somewhat skeptical on the accuracy of this but it sounds much better than a 9.5 lb baby (like me!) so I will take it!

The doctor printed off about 10 pictures of different things and this is the best one I have of the profile. Hoping to get a better one in a couple weeks! If you look right below the chin, you can see the elbow bent and the hand on the face-So dramatic! Adam said its a little Erin!

Like mentioned above, we are planning on doing another ultrasound in a couple weeks to get the gender!

Here I am at 20 weeks-we were busy moving all day (hence no sign and a mess) and I was running late for a meeting so ignore my hair! Feeling pretty good about how I look so far! I know my belly is going to start growing fast from here on out! In case you were wondering-Baby C is about the length of a banana!

• How far along? 20 weeks
• Total weight gain/loss: Gained 5 pounds total
• Maternity clothes? I am still able to wear a few pairs of regular pants to work. The picture above is the only pair of jeans that still fit-and I use that very loosely since the zipper only goes halfway up and a rubber band is holding them up! For the most part-yes, I am wearing maternity clothes. 
• Stretch marks? Boo! This is a big area of contention with me. I am starting to get really little marks (not lines but a few marks) on my belly. I am really sad since I have done a good job at not gaining a lot of weight but my belly is definitely growing. I was using Palmers and Bio-Oil and I have come to the conclusion that is just how your skin is. I am still using it in hopes it will help fade them quick. 
• Sleep: So-so. 
• Best moment this week: Seeing our beautiful baby!
• Miss Anything? Wine and Margaritas. We are in the process of moving so something to help take the edge off at the end of the day would be nice :)
• Movement: Oh yes! Especially in the evening after I eat or drink something. 
• Food cravings: Not really anything
• Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!
• Gender: I still think girl. Adam now thinks boy.
• Labor Signs: NO WAY!!!
• Symptoms: None
• Belly Button in or out? In!
• Wedding rings on or off? On!
• Happy or Moody most of the time: So-so. If we weren't in the process of moving right now, my mood would be much more positive, more frequently. It has recently hit me that Adam is leaving in less than a month for his internship which has me stressed as well. 
• Looking forward to: We are headed to one of my happy places this weekend-Kansas City. Ultimately, we hope to end up in KC one day. My in-laws live there and most of our friends are in Kansas City. Plus, it is about 3-3.5 hours from Rolla where my family is and about 3 hours from Omaha where the rest of Adam's family is. Anyway, one of my very good friends is having her shower this weekend and Adam and I plan to register! 

Letting Go and Letting God-19 weeks

I have had as easy of a pregnancy that I could have asked for so by no means am I complaining. There are some women who love being pregnant and some who don't. If my temperament was different, I would probably be someone who loved being pregnant but I don't hate it. I have found that being pregnant is not the easiest thing for a woman who can be some what of a control freak. You really do have to let things go and trust that God has a plan. It also doesn't help that I have a natural tendency to worry. 

From the time I found out I was pregnant, my mind has been racing with questions such as "What if the baby has a developmental disorder?" "What if the baby is physically deformed?" "What if the baby develops autism later in life?" When I would ask these questions, my mom would always respond, you will still love the baby regardless and she is right. It is just incredibly hard to not know for nine months. 

At my last appointment, my doctor asked if I was interested in having a quad screen performed. This is a blood screening test that compare a number of different factors (age, ethnicity, results from the test) and it estimates what the chances of having an abnormality. This test does not diagnose the problem but will signal that further testing should be done. When presented with the opportunity, my doctor told me based off my age, health, medical history, etc. it wasn't necessary but if it would ease my mind, then I can get it done. After talking to Adam, we decided to move forward with it. This morning, I got the results and everything came back normal which was a huge relief for me. I know that something else could potentially be wrong with baby which is fine, but just having that small bit of reassurance is nice.

As I am inching closer to that half-way mark, I have grown increasingly homesick and emotional. Between Adam not being here this summer for his internship, my family being so far, and my established hatred for being by myself, I am going to be a mess this summer.

I sometimes wonder if we should have waited longer to be closer to family. I am scared family won't visit us and they won't develop a relationship with this new addition. By no means do I regret being pregnant and I need to keep reminding myself that there is no "perfect" time to have a baby but I definitely think things could be easier if we had family closer. 

Not as much of a fun post as the last one where I showcased our love of a stroller, but I hope to look back at this and see how I was feeling at certain points. 

17 Weeks

No picture this week-not much has changed! Adam and I were in Omaha last weekend and started to get an idea of what we wanted for the baby. It is hard to determine what we actually "need." I think the items we know we need (car seat, stroller, crib, etc) we are willing to invest more money in as we will be using them A LOT. Additionally, I see a stroller as an investment because of how long we will be using it with this child and for future kids as well. The one we are looking into is the Britax B-Agile Travel System. Both the car seat and the stroller have really high ratings and the car seat itself is one of the safest ones on the market. 

I am kind of crazy when it comes to buying items such as this where I like to know exactly what is out there and I read as many reviews as possible. This travel system, via reviews on Amazon and Babies R Us, hardly has any bad reviews and hundreds of good reviews. 

Adam and I tested it out last weekend and we were completely sold! Here are the things we liked:

• The canopy is HUGE on the car seat!
• Both the stroller and car seat are very light weight but have a high maximum weight (33 lbs for the car seat and 55 lbs for the stroller)
• The straps and recline feature on the stroller are incredibly easy to use!
• The car seat is easy to take in and out of the base and the stroller
• The fold on the stroller is the easiest we have found. This is important to me if it is just me and I have a stroller and car seat to carry.
• The stroller is very compact. We have a smaller SUV (Toyota Highlander) which has a decent amount of space in the back, but not a ton so that was an important feature. 

Bitax B-Agile

• 17 Weeks
• Total weight gain/loss: Gained total of 4 pounds. I had my appointment today and my doctor could tell that I wasn't happy with the weight I gained. She reassured me that she recommends at this point for her patients to gain about five pounds so I was good. She also made the comment "Your attitude about weight gain better change since after 20 weeks, I recommend patients gaining a pound/week from here on out." Ahh!!! Its for a good cause though right?
• Maternity clothes? There are becoming more frequent! Most of my dress pants still fit for work which is good. None of my jeans fit anymore so I have been sporting maternity jeans (although slightly too big). Leggings and tunics have become my friends! 
• Stretch marks? Nope!
• Sleep: Hit or miss. I wake up about two times a night to go to the bathroom. Lately I have been have round ligament pain which my doctor told me is normal and that has woken me up. 
• Best moment this week: Having my doctor's appointment. Usually I hate going to the doctor but these appointments are different. I love hearing the heartbeat and being reassured everything is alright!
• Miss Anything? Over the past couple of weeks I could have really gone for a glass of wine. Oh well!
• Movement: Yup!
• Food cravings: Not really
•  Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!
•  Gender: Still thinking girl but I did have a dream the other night that we had a boy
• Labor Signs: NO WAY!!!
• Symptoms: None
• Belly Button in or out? In!
• Wedding rings on or off? On!
•  Happy or Moody most of the time: I have been feeling great. This could be because of the weather we have had!
• Looking forward to: I get to see my momma in a week!