Friday, August 9, 2013

What I Want to Teach my Daughter

I believe that for every woman who wants children, there is a tiny ounce of them who wants to have a girl. I am sure raising girls and boys come with their own unique challenges. I have the benefit of being a woman and knowing how difficult I made things for my parents but I also have a brother who was no walk in the park either.

I also have the benefit of working with over 400 women through my job and I see what they face today which isn't much different than what I faced about 10 years ago when I was in their shoes. I am grateful to my parents for teaching and allowing me to become a confident woman who is comfortable enough to stand up for what I believe in but respectful of others.

By no means am I super-feminist because I am sure those out there would cringe at some of things I have done or want to do. But, I am proud of myself for the woman I have become and there are things I hope both Adam and I can instill in her starting at a young age.

I have seen these lists floating around Pinterest but decided to make my own.

What I Want to Teach my Daughter
  1. Your father will teach you how a woman should be treated.
  2. Your point of view is important and needed.
  3. You should also be respectful of other's opinions.
  4. Music will define your mood and can be powerful. It will either pick you up or push you further down. 
  5. Mean girls will always exist. This isn't a reason to join in or to hide.
  6. Sometimes Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie does make things feel better.
  7. Develop REAL relationships and value the face-face conversations and interactions. Not ones electronically.
  8. I don't even know you and I already think you are the most beautiful girl and always will.
  9. Do not discount the value of a good book and your imagination. There is nothing wrong staying up late using both!
  10. Good girls are not boring and do not finish last. 
  11. Learn to not have the last word and to be the first to say "Sorry." This is something I still struggle with. 
  12. Movies lie. There is no "perfect" romance or relationship. Romance isn't some exotic, whisked away date but it is doing the dishes together while listening to Van Morrison and being perfectly happy. 
  13. Marriage isn't easy and never will be. It requires sacrifice, compromise, and selflessness. But, it is rewarding and fun.
  14. Cherish your body and be careful who you share it with. 
  15. Words hurt more than actions. Please use your words wisely and fight fair.
  16. Don't let anyone squash your strength or sense of self. 
  17. This one will be hard and will take a long time to get: You cannot control what others think of you and you need to let it go!
  18. You also cannot please everyone. Do what you believe in and don't compromise to make others happy. Ultimately, you will lose in the end. 
  19. Your father will teach you about his love for music and sports. These are things you will come to appreciate as you get older. 
  20. You will more than likely inherit one of my greatest strengths and weaknesses: You will feel every range of emotion more than the average person. You will love deeply and laugh fully. You will also overreact a ridiculous amount over minuscule things. My dad (your grandpa) thinks I live life more fully because of this. I have been fortunate to marry someone who appreciates (and tolerates) these qualities but I also know not to take advantage of his understanding.
  21. I sometimes play Landslide for you and hope you love this song as much as I do. I think you do because I can feel a calm movement coming from you when I play it. 
  22. Knowing your father and me, you will have some eccentricities. Embrace them and don't be embarrassed of them.
  23. Once you are old enough, budget for a good pedicure and massage every once in a while. I will probably even treat you to your first :)
  24. There is nothing wrong with some good retail therapy. Don't make a habit of this though. 
  25. Never chase a man.
  26. Beauty is subjective.
  27. "You is kind. You is smart. You is important."
  28. Bad hair days happen. That's what ponytails and headbands are for. 
  29. Bad haircuts also grow out. 
  30. Your father will love you more than any man you meet. 
  31. You will also put your father on an impossibly high pedestal so give the other men a chance!
  32. You will want to grow up faster than you need to. Once you are a "grown up" there is no going back so cherish your time of freedom and no responsibilities. 
  33. You will always have my shoulder to cry on.
  34. You can always come home. 
  35. Dress for the woman you want to be not for the man you want to have-you will attract the wrong kind of man.
  36. You will have friends who fulfill what you need in your life at that time and they may fade away. This is alright. 
  37. Your father will help you with your science experiments.
  38. I will read you novels.
  39. Your father might also teach you about Star Wars and you might think it is weird. Its alright to embrace the "weirdness."
  40. I will always fight for you but I will also teach you to fight your own battles. 
  41. Never stop educating yourself. Whether it is in the classroom or reading on your own, be a lifetime learner. 
  42. You are not better than anyone and no one is better than you. 
  43. I won't care how old or how young you are. If you need help, tell me. 
  44. Develop your own relationship with God.
  45. There will be times you will "hate" me and possibly your father, we hope that someday you will understand why we made those decisions. 
  46. Additionally, there is no such thing as "perfect" parents and we are doing the best we can.
  47. Finish what you have started. You will be respected for it. 
  48. Someday I hope we can be best friends but I will always be your mother first. 
  49. Your father will always love you.
  50. I will always love you.

1 comment:

  1. I am very impressed with my daughter! She has become a very well spoken woman.

    - Erin's dad