No one said being a parent was easy. In fact, I have heard that being a parent is "The toughest, but most rewarding job."
Today, I broke down. In church.
There are several adjectives to describe Caroline-Bright, spirited, energetic, curious, talkative, happy, and the list goes on. Sometimes, though, the only word I can use to describe her is "difficult." It may be the age and it may be her personality and it be may a combination of both.
For a while, when we have attended mass, one of us usually sits in the cry room with her. Today, both of us did with my dad while he was visiting. She was being particularly "energetic" and did not want to listen. Finally, after receiving Communion (and for those unfamiliar with the Catholic faith and the Mass, this is a time to reflect) Caroline wouldn't sit still or be quiet and I just broke down. I couldn't help but cry and to pray for patience and understanding with her.
One of my faults is comparing and envy/jealousy. This has always been a fault of mine. I struggle with looking at other children who are Caroline's age and am jealous of how well-behaved they are in church or how well they listen. But, why am I jealous? I have a daughter who is perfectly healthy, incredibly intelligent, and full of personality.
Every day, I am so grateful that I was chosen to be her mother and there is a reason she is mine. Every day I am so grateful that she is a bright, spirited, energetic, curious, talkative, and happy.
But, there are days when I get overwhelmed and just need a "break" and I think that is perfectly alright.